. I'd do anything!"I knew it was a bad idea, but it was time Tori saw the truth for herself.I spoke to Margaret on the phone. She was reluctant to have an observer present, but agreed, for an extra £100.We hardly spoke on that long drive to Cambridge. I told Tori not to say a word once we were with Margaret, unless she was directly spoken to. We were both nervous, but for different reasons. I have to confess that the thought of Tori watching me being taken to pieces by Margaret was just a bit exciting, but frightening too.Margaret looked Tori up and down, and her eyes told me that she thought nothing of her; she just wasn't worthy of attention. No desire or capacity for pain and humiliation, therefore of no interest.I didn't care right then, all I could think of was what Margaret would do this time, how much it would hurt and thrill me, how much it would help and soothe my troubled soul. Perhaps Margaret decided to put on a bit of a show for her audience, but that day, as if building. I just want to know what happened to her… give me this and you can take whatever you wish as your due.’, Robert’s voice sounded distant in his ears, as if he were hearing himself through a heavy fog. Well then servant, listen carefully to my words and you will know wisdom. Your beloved, who you lost so long ago, is not now and has never been among my ranks. She left you, did she not? She left because of her own hungers and passions… desires for harsh substances and bitter herbs. She left you when she realized that she could never be the person you desired, and only wanted to avoid hurting you. She traveled herself for quite some time, moving from place to place, doing many things to feed her hunger. Your travels have taken you to some of the same places she has been, though you did not know it. ‘Why do you tell me this, when I know I cannot find her. She does not want to be found if she did not contact me then! I’m lost and abandoned, even as I myself abandoned the life I lived so.
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